It’s Too Quiet…

By Kay on Fri, Aug 11, 2006

General, Memoirs, PreSchoolers, Toddlers

If you’re a mom, then you know what this post is going to be about just by the title. We’ve all had that sensation when you suddenly feel all of your senses go on heightened alert as you realize, “It’s too quiet in this house”. Of course, you immediately stop whatever it was that had you so engrossed and oblivious just nano-seconds previously to get up and follow your gut-instinct to whichever room of the house it leads you. Sometimes you are fortunate enough to walk in the room and find the kids just quietly reading a book, or coloring (in a coloring book and NOT on the walls and furniture), or playing with their dolls and cars. But sometimes, that fortune just isn’t on your side…

Unfortunately, I’ve had TWO of those instances where you get that little tingle at the base of your neck within the last week. I know what you’re thinking… “Didn’t she learn her lesson after the first time? Is this lady that slow of a learner? Is she just not in-tune with her children?” I have no answer for those questions, as they are all questions I’ve been asking myself. The only response I can give you is this, “Can’t I please just blame it on ‘pregnant-brain’ (or as my friend, Colleen, likes to call it, ‘placenta-head’)?” πŸ˜‰

The first incident happened last Friday. The house was quiet (it was nap time), but I was suddenly pulled out of my stream of conciousness email I was deep in the process of writing to a friend by a sudden awareness… I remembered hearing Kate get up out of bed, go into her bathroom, and close the door behind her. And after thinking about it for a few seconds, I remembered that I HAD also heard the toilet flush a few minutes later. What I didn’t remember hearing was the bathroom door open again and her going back into her room…

I immediately threw my laptop on the side table next to my couch and strained to hear the slightest sounds as I quickly sprinted to her bathroom. As I reached for the door knob, I knew I was in for trouble, even before seeing what she had been up to for the last God-only-knows-how-many minutes. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open to find her playing on the floor…
on the bathmat…
in front of an open door to the under-the-sink cabinet …
with the lotions… shampoo bottles… and the soaps that I had JUST stored in there the week previous.
Of course, there were puddles of shampoo, liquid soap and lotion EVEYWHERE – in the sink, on the counter, on the bathmat, on the 15 washcloths she had gotten out of the cabinet, and all over HER!

After freaking out for a second (okay maybe it was more than just one second) and using all three of her names in a very loud voice (remember when YOUR mom used to do that???), we had a detailed discussion about why she was NOT supposed to play with all the stuff under her sink. (Okay, it wasn’t so much a discussion as it was a lecture, but you get the idea.) I quickly cleaned her up, used the 15 washcloths to wipe up all the puddles, put her back to bed, and then threw the bathmats in the washer.

Later that night, she relayed the story to her daddy and we re-visited (in a calmer discussion) all the reasons why she was NOT to do that ever again. I made the mistake of thinking to myself, “I think she gets it. I don’t think she’ll do that again…”

Fast forward to Tuesday. (I think you can already start to guess what’s next.) The house was quiet again, only this time, it wasn’t nap time. This time, I’m not at all questioning which room to go to, and you probably aren’t either. I throw open the door to Kate’s bathroom and smack it straight into Ethan’s poor little head… (Who knew I was going to be telling on MYSELF so much in this post?) I look down on the CLEAN bathmat that I had just put back on the bathroom floor not 12 hours earlier and see Kate and Ethan sitting there…
with the cabinet door open… and puddles of…
not lotion or shampoo or soap…
okay, so what is this substance in GLOBS all over the mat?
and all over their hands… and legs… and clothes… and hair… and…
OMG! on the cabinet door… and the outside wall of the cabinet… and the drawer next to the sink… and the inside of the bathroom door… and the doorknob…

And then it hit me, right at the same second that I saw the open container of…


Have you ever tried to clean vaseline off of something? It just smears in deeper into the skin of the child, or wood of the cabinet, or all over YOU.

This time I was furious. Have you ever been so upset that you’re at that point where you’re screaming inside, but nothing’s coming out of your mouth? I was sooooo there. And somewhere in the WAY-back, tiniest part of my brain I was thanking God that nothing was coming out because what was in my head, would NOT have been fit for childrens’ ears. I finally was able to take a breath, and say in a surprisingly calm voice, “Take off your clothes” as I started the bath water running in the tub. Kate’s wide eyes told me that she KNEW what was going on and that there would definitely be a price to pay…

So, as they played in the tub and washed vaseline off of themselves (as well as a 3 year old and an 18 month old can do), I was busy using 3 different big bath towels to wipe up the globs of vaseline off of the floor and the cabinetry and the doors and cursing myself under my breath for even having that stuff in my house, much less within easy access of small children. Of course, I was also thanking God that there were no poisonous, sickening, fatal types of substances under said cabinet, because I knew there are MUCH worse things in life than cleaning up a little vaseline…

So, today, as I’ve been writing this post, I’ve been painfully aware of EVERY time Kate has even walked down the hall towards the bathroom. And have been subliminally counting to 30 in my head everytime she’s gone pee. Because as soon as it gets the slightest bit quiet in that bathroom, I’m already yelling down the hall like a mad woman… “GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!!!!” Poor baby may never be able to go pee in peace ever again…

Okay, so now it’s your turn. I’ve told my “It’s too quiet…” story. I can’t wait to hear all of yours’, too!! πŸ˜‰

PS Shawn will be installing cabinet locks like these this weekend…

However, my sister-in-law swears by these magnetic kinds of cabinet locks. Even the adults that she’s had over to the house can’t figure them out right away… πŸ™‚

Written by Kay Hesketh - Visit Website

5 Comments For This Post

  1. Cheri Dyer Says:

    Parker, my youngest, was the mess-maker out of all three of my boys. While I was busy cleaning one of his messes he was usually busy making another. One day, a long time ago, I was in the kitchen wiping up a mess that a he had made when I realized how quiet the house was. I thought, with horror, \’Where was Parker?\’. I go to my bathroom and there I find him. He was covered in Kotex pads that stuck nicely to his naked body, w/a whole tub of baby powder on top and lipstick, covered ever so nicely past his lips to his cheeks. I screamed on the inside then realized I could turn this into a Kodak moment. Instead of yelling, my normal reaction, I went and got the camera. Not only do I have the keepsake photo but best of all I have that moment stored in my memory bank as a cute, cuddly moment. Of course there were lots of not-so-cute moments that followed in the years to come but, at least I turned that one into a fond one.

  2. Kay Says:

    After much searching I finally found a site that would tell me how to get vaseline off of clothes and fabrics. (FYI, “Vaseline” is just a brand name of petroleum jelly.) Check out this diy site’s suggestions…


  3. Kay Says:

    Here’s another mom’s story about vaseline and how she got it out of her son’s HAIR!!!!

    Baking soda – one thing every household should have at all times. Why you might ask? The answer is simple – for emergency vaseline removal. (Okay, minds out the gutter – this is G rated!)

    When your two year old happens upon a jar of vaseline and bathes himself in it – hair and all – you must immediately reach for the baking soda. Here is what I learned this morning, thanks to Goggle.

    Run a hot bath. Put child in tub. Mix a good amount of baking soda and shampoo, lather head, rinse, repeat several times – at least 5 or 6 for short hair. (Parents of kids with long hair – good luck – I recommend you invest in a good set of clippers!).

    Now, move to the body. Once again, mix baking soda and soap (preferably liquid – a bar doesn’t work so well) and lather childs body using your hands. Again, you may have to repeat several times or at least until the water stops beading on the child and just runs off smoothly.

    STAY CLEAR OF COLD WATER – this just tends to make the vaseline clump up and become more of a mess.

    So there you have it. I guess you really do learn something new every day!!

  4. Rebecca Says:

    Me and my 2 boys were supposed to be taking a nap, come to find out apparently I was the only one doing so. After waking up to my 3 yr old crawling into bed with me and the little one missing, I got up to survey the scene. I found Ethan, covered in something very greasy, coming don the hall. I took him into the bathroom to clean him off and I walked into a flooded mess. There were at least 2 inches of water all over the floor and the bathroom sink was still running. After turning it off and unclogging the sink, I gave Ethan a bath and quickly realized that nothing was coming off. I knew I was going to be in trouble. Then I walked out into the living room to find Vaseline all over everything, the table, the couch, the wall, and everything in between. Daddy’s tools were dumped out all over the couch and trash was everywhere. I followed the trash into the dining room and then the kitchen. In the kitchen I found that my kids had been playing not only with Vaseline, but also with cooking spray. Everything was a greasy mess. There was even frosting, made from Crisco, from my oldest’s birthday cakes all over the fridge. Ethan got put to bed and I decided that it was a good thing that Austin was sleeping already. Had he been awake, I might have theoretically killed him. So I sat down to look up how to clean Vaseline and thankfully came upon this site. It defiantly makes me feel better knowing that other moms have had similar stories. I will let you know what worked for the Vaseline, as for the rest of it-Mommy now knows it is never okay to sleep in the house with a 3 year old and a 20 mo old, even if they are sleeping like angels when I go to sleep.

  5. Kay Says:

    If you’re looking for more solutions to removing vaseline, check out this post and all the real-world advice from commenters who have tried different ways at their own homes.

    How to Clean Up Vaseline

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