My “Mother Letter”

By Kay on Mon, Dec 1, 2008

General, Parenting Tips

If you didn’t get a chance to read the previous post below about this project, you might take a moment now to skim it, as it is the reason for the below letter. Enjoy!

Dear Mother,

I know that you will be reading this at Christmas time, but as I am sitting here writing, we are celebrating the Thanksgiving Holidays.  So, if you’ll forgive the obvious tribute to this season, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share the things for which I’m most grateful as a mother.

First, I’m thankful for this project and the wonderful man who started it, your husband.  I’m grateful to have the opportunity to take a moment to reflect on my own experience as a mother and to read about others’ experiences also.  I’m grateful for a man that would see the value in mothers of all depths of experience sharing their journey with each other.  To be validated and be given the voice to say the things that are important to each of us is most definitely a gift for us as much as it is a gift for you to receive.

I’m grateful for the group of mothers that surround me.  These women offer great comfort to me as, together, we all figure out this thing called ‘motherhood’.  I’m thankful for a group of friends that will laugh with me at my child’s latest mishmash of words, celebrate with me as my child graduates from preschool, hang my children’s artwork on their refrigerator with pride, hold my hand and cry with me as we wait for a doctor’s test results to come back, encourage me when I feel like a failure, give me advice when my three year old little boy refuses to potty train, answer the phone at 3 AM to tell me it’s normal that my kid is doing this and a little Tylenol should do the trick, and commiserate with me on the days when I want to chuck it all in and run away from home.  I love that these women give me the room to be myself in all my strengths and weaknesses and love me just the way I am.  I honestly don’t know how moms without a support system of some sort are able to do it.  I know that without these beautiful women in my life, I would be so much less of a mother and a human being.

I’m grateful for a mother and mother-in-law that live near enough to babysit on a regular basis, but still respect my sense of privacy and the need to be my own kind of mother in my home.  I so appreciate the way that they give me advice without being condescending and congratulate me when I do things right – even if it’s not the way they would have done it.  I am so deeply grateful that they LOVE my children as only a grandmother could and look forward to the days they get to spend together.  And that my children love to spend time with them, too, is almost more than I could ask.

I’m grateful for a husband that loves me dearly, that loves our children dearly, and loves our life together.  I know that I’m extremely blessed to have a man that not only encourages me to be a better mother, but also a better wife and a better person.  It’s so easy for a mother of small children to become so centered on them and all the duties and minutia they require, that she forgets who she is when there are no children around to care for.  So, not only does he willingly watch the kids so that I can attend regular “Mommy’s Night Outs”, but he also consistently reminds me that who I was before I became a mother is still who I am, and that part of me still needs to be nourished.  He pushes me out the door for my weekly book club, listens to me even when I’m griping about the smallest of things, and reminds me that I’m the best mom for these kids.  I know that many mothers do not have this kind of man in their life, and so I’m incredibly and deeply thankful that I have him to share this journey.

Most of all, I’m grateful for the opportunity to raise 3 beautiful children.  There were several years that we didn’t think we would be able to have children, and those years were some of the most difficult, painful, and soul-searching years of my life.  But, I now know that I am the person I am today because of those years and the depths that I went to with myself, my husband, and my God.  I know that I was uniquely crafted to be the mother of these particular three children, to help raise them to be grounded in who they are at their very core, to know and feel that they are deeply loved, and to trust that they are exactly who they are supposed to be for a purpose.  I don’t always know how to do that the ‘right way’.  In fact, some days I don’t feel up for the challenge or qualified to even change their diapers, much less support them in their very personal and unique experience through life.  But, then I remember the other people in my life and how ‘it takes a village’, and I take a deep breath, listen to the God inside of me (or the God inside one of those people) for a moment, and I take the next step.

Dear Mother, I hope that you are also grateful for these things and more, because I know that not every mother has been given the chance to have the same experience out of this life. I hope that this Christmas season finds you surrounded by those who love you and whom you love the most, encouraged greatly to continue being the incredible mother you most undoubtedly are, and filled with hope for the years to come on this never-ending journey called ‘motherhood’.  Know that, no matter the circumstance, you are a blessing, you are highly honored, and you are the best mother for your children.  I know that I will not be alone as I think of you in the days, weeks and months to come and pray God’s absolute best for your life.  And I hope that you would think and pray for all of us in return.  

Merry Christmas and MANY more Happy New Years to you!


~mother to Kate (5.5), Ethan (3.5), and Karis (2)

Written by Kay Hesketh - Visit Website

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